Job Spotlight - human guinea pigs

It's been getting increasingly harder syncing times for new podcasts, so I'm introducing a new feature onto the blog to encourage more of our listeners to read our commentary instead of just downloading content from itunes.

I had this idea a while ago, after watching Woody Allen's Bananas, to eek a living out of testing products for companies and the government. The attraction is obvious - get paid not for actually doing anything, but have something done to you.

1. Is it a living?

There isn't much of a market in Australia, but travel to the US where commercial and government scientists are requiring a total of at least 10,000,000 healthy subjects. Lengthy and involving medical studies can pay thousands of dollars each. One drug trial in Baltimore, typical of its kind, paid US$6,500 for four 12 day stints of blood samples, echo cardiograms, and physical checkups. Professional guinea pigs do exist. Nick F (anonymous to protect his earning capacity - researchers are weary of serial testers) participated in over twenty studies throughout the US in 2007, netting him around $80,000 for the year - equivalent to most middle management office and retail jobs requiring tertiary qualifications.

2. Is it dangerous?

There is an obvious element of risk being the first person to try anything. In March 2006, eight male volunteers checked into London's Northwick Park Hospital for a weeklong study of TGN1412, an experimental treatment for rheumatoid arthritis and leukemia to be manufactured by Boehringer- Ingelheim. Within minutes of receiving the first dose, six of them began to writhe in pain, vomit, and lose consciousness, according to news reports. Nurses rushed them to the hospital's trauma unit, where doctors treated them for multiple organ failure. The test subjects lived, but all suffered permanent damage to their immune systems and internal organs. One lost fingers and toes. Another developed signs of cancer possibly triggered by the drug.

The liability waivers that must be signed before being accepted as a subject are extensive, it's simply a case of fingers crossed and hope for the best.

What's involved?

A major qualification to the idea of getting paid to not do actual work is that there is a fair bit of work involved, primarily, in finding the 'work' itself. Pros spend much of their 'free' time scouring the internet for medical trial notices, air fares, car rentals and short term accommodation. It's important not to miss the big tests which can each form 20% of more of a guinea pig's yearly salary.

The Bottom Line

Once you get the process of sorting out new trials, it's a breeze - just sit back and let a bespectacled man in a white lab coat inject an unknown purple serum into your neck. Collect paycheck. Repeat.